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I spend everyday thinking of you at least once, and am reminded of you through out the day. I hold our memories so close and dear to me. Things between us were a lie, and nothing more then an affair. But to me it was everything. I loved you more then I could of ever imagined loving someone. I believed everything you told me, and guess I just wanted everything to be true. It's been a year since we have spoke and over a year since we have seen each other. I still continue to wonder what it was that I did to you to have you treat me the way you did, but as you can see what I felt was real and I was true to you. I hear things still and I know more and more that you just played me, but i continue to love you and wonder if there was ever a time you really did "love" me. I guess that I will never really understand why you did me the way you did. I play all the songs you use to send me and I soak my feelings with the memories that never fade away. I miss being in your arms feeling your lips. I couldn't imagine running into you after all this time and see you with another woman. I think that my heart would break all the way. I know you will never see this, but I had to get this off my chest and this way may seem dumb beautiful seniors want xxx dating granny swingers but I am getting this out. You hurt me more then any man could of. I have lost complete trust in men, and will never let another one close to me. I thought you was the man I have been waiting for and the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I always pictured us spending holidays together and going on trips together. I felt so safe with you and loved. I guess that I was being dumb to think that a man like you could love anyone other then yourself. The woman you claim you want.....the one to be by your side through rough times....you let me go, and for what some chic you claimed wasn't yours but your still with her playing games still. So, to my old school player tonight is the last night I will ever let your memory take my thoughts or my time. I am moving on and not looking back ever again. I will always love you, but I deserve better and I deserve a man to appreciate me....
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