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Over before it began?
I know you don't want to hear from me directly, but I have somethings that I need to get off my chest about what happened yesterday. I figure that if you are looking for answers maybe you will see this, and, if not, I will at least be able to get on with my day with a clearer head. Texting is a terrible way to deal with emotionally loaded issues - too much room for speculation about what each text "really" means. I suspect that some of that contributed to the way things escalated. However, is it really so impossible for you to believe that someone would be willing to protect your heart and want what is best for you? That was all that I was trying to say - that given your emotional state, perhaps entering into a complicated situation with an admittedly complicated person might not be the healthiest choice for you right now. There was no need for paranoia - I'm not some crazy-pants stalker type that is going to wreck your life and of mind. As you can see, when asked to do so, I just quietly go away. I will admit that I let my hopes get too high. I figured out what you were thinking and wanted to suggest early in the conversation. I got excited to see someone new for the first time in a REALLY long time, so I was willing to agree to it even though the conditions were less than ideal. When you chose to postpone, I was more dissappointed than I should have been. It had been a stressful time already and the anxiety and disappointment, in addition to being REALLY hungry made me over-react. My responses were just my honest feelings to what was unfolding given my emotional state of mind, which I warned you about. If that isn't going to be ok, I think it is best to know sooner rather than later. I guess I should have just ended the conversation before it got out of hand and taken some time to pull myself together. I thought I was like you in that I couldn't be hurt or disappointed any more than I already have been. I was surprised to learn that I wasn't as immune as I thought I was. I think that you were assuming a lot about what would have happened we had proceeded with what you were suggesting though. After all, it was just a chance to meet - not a marriage proposal. I was going to be clear that it was going to be just that - a chance to meet - nothing more until we knew each other better. You seem like a genuinely good guy and I hope that you find what you are looking for. I already miss hearing from you. I am TRULY sorry for all of this.
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