I have yet to fulfill your fantasy. What are you waiting for?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a in love, and an outlaw in . Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small in the Basin from a horde of ferocious . I play cello, I was scouted by the , I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after , I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been er number and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat % real and hope you are too. Please be secure and be capable of good communication. If you really want to get my attention, please have presence, personality, posture, and poise. I will respond to all in due time, even those I may not be interested in. The fact that you have contacted my ad shows that you have taken the time to read it and something obviously has intrigued you. I feel at the least what you deserve is some type of a tactful personal response.