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of it is his own doing? He is not to blame for his abusive childhood or his bipolar. Those are crummy cards to be dealt in life, for sure. However, at some point you have to make a choice for how you handle the bad stuff that life throws at you. You can choose (if you're able) to handle it in a way that's conducive to you being in a productive relationship with another person, or you can handle it in ways that are toxic to those around you, and therefore you need to be on your own. So while I don't think the childhood and the mental disorder are his "fault" by any means, I don't think he's handling them in a way that any sane person could live with. Regardless of fault, if someone can't be a good partner to you, you should not be in a relationship with them. This is worse than "bad partner", this is abusive. With the support situation, some of this is his own fault, right? He made two babies with two separate women and apparently didn't make very wise choices with either one and now doesn't want to support his kid. Yes, stuff happens, but it seems like he's compounding his problems now, and frankly, I can why the one mother is reluctant to hand the over to a who is stoned, a deadbeat, bipolar and refusing treatment, and has anger issues. Would you not be nervous to send a off alone with him until he was really trying to sort himself out and make at least a safe home for the kid? Additionally, fair or not, with regards to the mother's behavior, is kind of irrelevant. If your BF can't understand that his $ is going to feed HIS kid and would rather that kid go without so he can smoke pot and sit around on the couch all day not working, that's selfish. I think it's high time you stop making excuses for this before you become Ex #3 with Kid #3 that he pays no support for and moves on to Girlfriend #4 to mooch off of her. You can by his history how this is going to end. Be smart. At this point you haven't done anything with regards to this that can't be undone.
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