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Maybe its PMS maybe not. I am feeling depressed and those feelings keep latching onto things in my married life. We smoke pot and I wish we didn't ..but I don't believe that change, I talk to him about quitting. We have said that we should quit I ask him if he even really wants to he says Yes but its hard Its been like this for the last 2 years. I like to smoke so yeah I know its hard to quit but seems like we should. We might be trying to get a home and build smoking just seems like a stupid thing to do. maybe if it was just on the weekends or something but every day is just to much. before we got married we had smoked before quit for a while and then he started back up with out telling me I don't think I ever got over that .maybe that's what all of this is even about. In any case I don't believe him that he wants to quit or that we even ever really quit I want to trust him on that but I don't. I don't know how to get that trust back. We are stuck staying with his mom and step dad, while a place was getting remodeled for us, then his father passed on and now we have this land and big decisions things that impact our lives for the rest of them. We don't have personal space with each other to figure things out, or work on stuff. I know this is getting to be a downer to. I appreciate the place to stay but just am not getting the space I need for myself or the time with my husband to even feel like we are remotely on the same. I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling this morning and he just said yes and I can understand that. I asked if he even really cared about what I was saying and He said he was just taking it in. asked me what time it was and said I needed to get to work and that he loves me and hopes I drive safe etc. So now I am at work I can't focus, I feel totally down. I just want to go home sick and go be somewhere by myself but that's guna solve nothing. I keep wondering If getting married was a mistake. We each other but sometimes I don't know if we really even make each other happy or bring out the best in each other maybe this is just my hormones making a simple problem into an insurmountable issue.

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