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You are WAY over simplifying the other side of being dumped. You think that a who's wife is lying to him and taking walks away he's just throwing his vows in a toilet. Now I don't think that you really believe that but you're pushing that line. Knock it off, I know you think that's what's wrong with most people but you're way off. It's not the reason divorce happens. It's not because of no fault, it's not because people have forgotten what marriage is supposed to be about and there are VERY few people who 'just walk away'. You still are stuck in a world where you think your pain is more intense than others, I mean it must be for everyone to find happiness. They just don't feel as deeply as you do. That's not the truth and it's selfdestructive. You have to learn that the pain of divorce can be overcome and that it takes all the effort and then some that you say should be put into the marriage. The hard part is that the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow isn't some grand story, it's just a life that you can look back upon with a sense of pride. No one suggests that just walking away is something anyone should do, the reason you need to detach from the situation is so you can make smart choices. There is a time to think about the big picture and the guy has a. He needs to look at the truth. His wife already broke her vows, sneaking around so she can take is not honoring her marriage. He needs to make a smart decision. We don't know, he does. If he detaches he can make a decision to stay or go if he stays he can set boundaries, make lines in the sand and have an exit plan that protects his daughter. He can insist upon rehab (which has a shitty track record unfortunately), he can insist upon counseling and he can have friends on standby to help out with the kid. He needs to have a plan in place and he needs to stick with it. OR he can realize that maybe this is just a done deal, there is too much damage. He now has to take care of himself and the, he has to file for divorce, protect himself from the attacks that often come with divorce and start his own recovery. OK you bang your drum and I'll bang mine.

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